Thursday, July 11, 2013

Toilet Seat Covers



Today was the first day I had to use a public bathroom since our move to Texas.

It all started on a quest for the UPS Store, which ended up being in a city 20 miles away. To my delight, in the same shopping center,  I found a Sprouts and Bath and Body Works, but they were closed at the time. 

On my drive back home, I really had to pee, so I pulled into the local Micky D's--for the most part their bathrooms are usually clean, and sprinted for the little girls room. I barged into the largest stall, and impatiently wasted forty valuable seconds on the lock, cursing under my breath during the struggle for privacy.   

Anyway, I ungracefully whipped down my pants while scanning the room for the toilet seat covers.  OMG, I can understand if the bin is empty, but to have no bins on the wall at all has got to be a mistake.To make matters worse, the toilet paper was out. 

I preformed the tightest Kegel in my life, pulled up my drawers and walked cross-legged to the next stall. And, you guessed it, no freakin seat cover dispenser. At least there was toilet paper, so I carefully laid out a hand made version, and then had an almost orgasmic urinating experience from holding it forever. 

As I got closer to my town, I wondered if it was just a McDonald's no toilet seat covers thing, so I pulled into a Jack-in-the-box off my freeway exit and hobbled in to check out the bathroom. Nope... not in that restroom either. 

Maybe it's a fast food thing, but next time I'm at Barnes and Noble or Panera (also in the next city) you bet I will check out the loo. 

1 comment:

  1. UPDATE... Last Friday, I went to Barnes and Noble to check out the bathroom and, YEA!, there were toilet seat covers.

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