Synonyms: irritation, exasperation, vexation, anger, displeasure, aggravation, nuisance.
A day in the life of...
For the sake of a day, the clock starts at 12am.
12ish... realize I have to pee. Stiff, painful, and unsteady walk to the bathroom and back to bed. Uncomfortable, but able to fall back asleep for 90 minutes.
2ish... realize I have to pee. Stiff, painful, and unsteady walk to the bathroom and back to bed. Thirsty, but if I drink something I'll have to pee again. Annoyed and uncomfortable, but able to fall asleep.
4ish... realize the dogs are banging against their crates to tell me they, too, have to pee. Stiff, painful, and unsteady hobble out to the front room. Three feet before the kitchen, I tell myself to start the coffee pot before I let the dogs out.
I pass the coffee pot, open the dog crates and scoot them out the back door and remember... crap, I forgot to turn on the coffee. Irritated, I hobble back to the kitchen and start the coffee.
Neuropathic pain eases as I organize the dogs bowls and get their breakfast ready before I let them back in the house. Four bowls: three have dry kibble, one bowl is empty. I stand there confused. Crap... what do I need?
Oh yeah. Peewee's refridge dog food. Open fridge, stare long enough to say, "What am I doing? Think, think, thing." Turn around and see the empty dog bowl and say, "Oh yeah. PeeWee." Look back at the ingredients inside the fridge and say, "Crap... What am I looking for?" Then before I turn around again I see PeeWee's food and get if for her bowl.
I fix my coffee in a plastic Starbucks cup with a lid so my shaky hands won't spill the hot liquid when I sit down to drink it. I stare at the black liquid. Crap... what do I need? Oh yeah, creamer. I open the fridge, thinking creamer for coffee as I process each item of the same size in the fridge for about 6 seconds.
"Where's the lid?" I know I had it when I filled my cup. The little annoyances are growing. "It was right there." Agitation takes over and I'm no longer thinking crap. Other 4 letter words pop out of my mouth as I scan the room for the lid to my coffee. I spot it on the toaster. Why the heck would I have put it there? My temper cools enough for me to attach the lid on my cup and walk toward my chair.
The dogs scratch at the back door. Crap... I forgot to let them back in. I set my coffee down on the table, walk to the door and they scurry in to find their breakfast. I make it to my chair but realize crap... I don't have me coffee. Where did I put it?
Every time I open the fridge, go to wash clothes, feed the animals, do dishes, use the microwave I stand there a bit confused until I have to ask myself, "What do I need?" or "What was I doing?" or "Think... think... think."
This crap goes on and on all day long, sometimes over a hundred times a day. Each question I ask wears at a spot in my psyche and after a few hours, I've lost patience with myself and everything around me. Once I've lost my patience, I hate myself, life, and everything around me because I'm now manic.
2ish... realize I have to pee. Stiff, painful, and unsteady walk to the bathroom and back to bed. Thirsty, but if I drink something I'll have to pee again. Annoyed and uncomfortable, but able to fall asleep.
4ish... realize the dogs are banging against their crates to tell me they, too, have to pee. Stiff, painful, and unsteady hobble out to the front room. Three feet before the kitchen, I tell myself to start the coffee pot before I let the dogs out.
I pass the coffee pot, open the dog crates and scoot them out the back door and remember... crap, I forgot to turn on the coffee. Irritated, I hobble back to the kitchen and start the coffee.
Neuropathic pain eases as I organize the dogs bowls and get their breakfast ready before I let them back in the house. Four bowls: three have dry kibble, one bowl is empty. I stand there confused. Crap... what do I need?
Oh yeah. Peewee's refridge dog food. Open fridge, stare long enough to say, "What am I doing? Think, think, thing." Turn around and see the empty dog bowl and say, "Oh yeah. PeeWee." Look back at the ingredients inside the fridge and say, "Crap... What am I looking for?" Then before I turn around again I see PeeWee's food and get if for her bowl.
I fix my coffee in a plastic Starbucks cup with a lid so my shaky hands won't spill the hot liquid when I sit down to drink it. I stare at the black liquid. Crap... what do I need? Oh yeah, creamer. I open the fridge, thinking creamer for coffee as I process each item of the same size in the fridge for about 6 seconds.
"Where's the lid?" I know I had it when I filled my cup. The little annoyances are growing. "It was right there." Agitation takes over and I'm no longer thinking crap. Other 4 letter words pop out of my mouth as I scan the room for the lid to my coffee. I spot it on the toaster. Why the heck would I have put it there? My temper cools enough for me to attach the lid on my cup and walk toward my chair.
The dogs scratch at the back door. Crap... I forgot to let them back in. I set my coffee down on the table, walk to the door and they scurry in to find their breakfast. I make it to my chair but realize crap... I don't have me coffee. Where did I put it?
Every time I open the fridge, go to wash clothes, feed the animals, do dishes, use the microwave I stand there a bit confused until I have to ask myself, "What do I need?" or "What was I doing?" or "Think... think... think."
This crap goes on and on all day long, sometimes over a hundred times a day. Each question I ask wears at a spot in my psyche and after a few hours, I've lost patience with myself and everything around me. Once I've lost my patience, I hate myself, life, and everything around me because I'm now manic.
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