Dress Up

Having a daughter is a wonderful thing. Every year, since age eleven, I'm amazed that my daughter still likes to spend time with me. We stay up late, share stories and gossip, give each other make-up tips, and yell at each other for borrowing scarves, shoes, and over-sized tee-shirts with out asking.

This school year has been especially tough on Lucy. Poor kid can't get away with anything her brother did (or didn't do) in regards to school work only ten years earlier. Technology is a wonderful thing. Lucy grew up with a Gameboy, e-readers (both the Kindle and Nook), computers, and smart phones. Yet, the same technology that instantaneously brings her texts, emails, and information from the internet superhighway, sends her parents grade reports each time she fails to turn in a homework assignment or does poorly on a test.

Why would she choose not to do her school work? It's not like we demand straight A's, but we do expect each assignment to be completed. (sigh)

What can a parent do to motivate their child? Taking away all electronics didn't seem to work. Maybe it's a 10th grader problem because many of her friends have also lost their technology privileges. (sigh)

Maybe it's teen angst, feminine hormones, and chemical lapses in brain synapses causing bouts of depression that make her feel the whole world is against her. I can only speculate, but I think I hit the jackpot on the third one.

With my son, I remember saying to my husband, "I just want him to graduate." Several of his youth football team mates never made it past their junior year of high school, so my concern was valid.

Now, with Lucy, I find myself saying, "I just want her to live past eighteen." Several of her friends have attempted suicide. I have many theories on this, but that is not what this blog entry is for.

So, I'm back to my original question... what can a parent do to motivate their child?

Only love her, I guess. Not to be confused with catering or placating her. She still doesn't have her phone back, and she won't for the summer unless she passes her classes with at least a C. It seems crazy that we must to enforce these rules when the semester before she made honor roll.

How can I communicate what a great person, a great daughter, she is? She's witty, creative, beautiful, and caring. She doesn't smoke (pot or cigarettes), drink, or behave promiscuously. Unfortunately, those praise speeches get lost between the loud lectures on "Why didn't you do your chemistry homework?"

There's a loss of innocence from a year ago, and I don't think it's only a result of our move to Texas either. Six months ago was excited to cos play as her favorite characters: Sherlock and Castiel from Supernatural.

 

Next week, we have an appointment with her doctor. I fear medication just as much as I fear depression. She's a great kid, and it is my deepest prayer that she grow to be a great adult too. I'll take her innocence over graduation any day.