Two nights ago, I went to ER at 12 a.m. for knee pain I've been dealing with for over a month and I found out I have a torn meniscus on the inside ligament of my right knee and the bone is popping in/out and away from my patella. I have to keep my leg immobilized for three weeks, and then see an orthopedic surgeon about the possibility of putting a pin in my patella to keep the bones from moving.
OMG... NOW THE FUNNY PART:
While in the ER, the room I was assigned had cable television and the channel it was on was Starz. A movie was already in progress and it looked like a comedy because of the slap-stick scenes that I watched before I was taken off for x-rays. The volume was off so I couldn't hear what it was about.
When the nurse brought me back to the room after x-rays she helped me onto the bed and left.
When I looked up at the screen, the movie was still playing, but it wasn’t a comedy. It was a porn movie. And not just boobie porn, but it had a subplot where two socially awkward men snuck on a farm behind an unsuspecting goat. The movie showed the men’s butts as they pulled down their pants, and then the camera panned to show the goat. I won’t fill in the rest.
I scanned the room for the remote, which was, of course, nowhere to be found. My curtains were closed, and the nurses were with other patients, so they couldn't hear me calling. Well, there I lay with my forearm covering my eyes, laughing my butt off, very grateful for the lack of sound.
Anyway, when a staff member finally returned to my room, it wasn't a nurse that came in first. It was a young, tan, doctor whose first impression of me was a fresh set of ta-tas playing on the screen above me.
Apologizing profusely, he grabbed the remote from a cabinet and switched the television to the Disney Channel. The hospital waived my out-of-pocket provider fee, gave me a steroid shot in my backside, wrapped my knee and sent me on my way.
What great material for a book, right? Maybe Frank Portman (King Dork) or Jay Clark (The Edumacation of Jay Baker) can use it in one of their edgy teen boy novels.
Got a story that can beat this one. If so, I'd love to hear it. I think it comes real close to my brain falling into my sinus cavity--a story I'll blog later.
OMG... NOW THE FUNNY PART:
While in the ER, the room I was assigned had cable television and the channel it was on was Starz. A movie was already in progress and it looked like a comedy because of the slap-stick scenes that I watched before I was taken off for x-rays. The volume was off so I couldn't hear what it was about.
When the nurse brought me back to the room after x-rays she helped me onto the bed and left.
When I looked up at the screen, the movie was still playing, but it wasn’t a comedy. It was a porn movie. And not just boobie porn, but it had a subplot where two socially awkward men snuck on a farm behind an unsuspecting goat. The movie showed the men’s butts as they pulled down their pants, and then the camera panned to show the goat. I won’t fill in the rest.
I scanned the room for the remote, which was, of course, nowhere to be found. My curtains were closed, and the nurses were with other patients, so they couldn't hear me calling. Well, there I lay with my forearm covering my eyes, laughing my butt off, very grateful for the lack of sound.
Anyway, when a staff member finally returned to my room, it wasn't a nurse that came in first. It was a young, tan, doctor whose first impression of me was a fresh set of ta-tas playing on the screen above me.
Apologizing profusely, he grabbed the remote from a cabinet and switched the television to the Disney Channel. The hospital waived my out-of-pocket provider fee, gave me a steroid shot in my backside, wrapped my knee and sent me on my way.
What great material for a book, right? Maybe Frank Portman (King Dork) or Jay Clark (The Edumacation of Jay Baker) can use it in one of their edgy teen boy novels.
Got a story that can beat this one. If so, I'd love to hear it. I think it comes real close to my brain falling into my sinus cavity--a story I'll blog later.
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